Does a gloomy feeling cover your heart as black clouds cover the sky?
There is something enthralling about Bombay rains. After an excruciating hot summer, when it rains for the first time, it pours like the city is going to drown that day. What is it about the rains that it changes something inside us? It is funny how weather can control how we feel. I don’t know if it happens to everyone, but I start feeling a little depressed as monsoon starts.
Like on that day, when it was pouring heavily. I was sitting in my balcony with a cup of tea, diary, and a pen. And the words flowed in…
It has been two years
since I last met you,
and I have started to forget
how your face looked like.
The creases on your forehead
that forms a ‘V’ every time
you strain your eyebrows,
have become blurred lines now.
Your little brown eyes
sitting on your big face,
calm as ever,
converging into a black hole,
giving a passage
right into your soul,
all looks foggy now.
I don’t remember
that smirk on your fat lips,
choosing less words,
delivering more meaning.
It has been two years since
I last spent time with you,
and I don’t remember
how your presence felt around me.
I can’t recollect
the butterflies in my stomach
every time your lips came
close to my ears,
leaving a big smile on my face.
The way you used to look at me
as I was engrossed in something,
with so much love,
that I could almost feel
a physical touch of your sight.
Seems like a distant memory now.
That feeling of security
and comfort,
when you held my hand tight.
The bear clutch hug
that made me lost in your world.
How comfortable did that feel?
I don’t remember anymore.
It has been two years since
we expressed our love for each other.
How you blushed every time
when I spoke with
a mouthful of food,
or how I spoke in Marathi
when I was angry.
Why do I not remember anything now?
How I used to put my purse
around your head
like a garland,
and made you wait.
How you instantly fell asleep
when I pat your head
as you slept on my lap.
How you used to
randomly grab my hand
and pull me close while walking
if anyone passed too close to me.
I remember nothing at all.
It is rightly said,
time can heal every wound,
time makes you forget things,
and out of sight is out of mind.
For I can see with every passing day,
your memory in my mind is
becoming fainter
and fainter.
I can hardly recollect
things about you now.
I guess you didn’t give me
enough reason to remember you.
So now I can’t remember
how you looked
or how your presence felt.
I don’t think
I am to be blamed here,
but you are.
- Kat R. Sean
The rain stopped pouring outside, but it continued to pour inside.
– Sanketa Raut
Samay and Solace 