Aaji

Aaji

10th Oct 2020

It is ironic how people say, ‘to reach great heights, we must keep moving on’. However, the truth is, we keep losing. Losing things, losing challenges, and most importantly, losing people. Sometimes you wake up missing someone badly. And then your brain is flooded with the memories of that dear one.

I remember, I was fifteen. The age at which teenagers start getting a little rebellious. I was no exception. I had got into an argument with my grandmother; a witty woman who had peculiar ways of proving a point. She asked me to play a game. I had to be indifferent to her presence around me for a whole day. And under no circumstances could I ask her for any sort of help. Obstinately, I accepted the challenge.

The next morning when I got up, I got ready for school by myself. Took the tiffin my mother had packed and left the house. I knew she would be at the window looking at me. My heart ached to turn back and wave at her, but I didn’t want to lose, so I just walked off.

My grandmother used to be alone at home by the time I came back from the school. I definitely didn’t want her to open the door for me. So I started searching for the spare key which was secretly kept in the shoe rack outside my house. I spotted it within seconds and opened the door. She was sitting in the living room. Unlike every day when I tell her about my day at school first, I removed my shoes and socks and directly went inside my room.

I changed my clothes. Switched on the television, served lunch for myself and started eating. We used to watch a show together every day. Just that day, we didn’t speak at all. Later, I did my homework and fell asleep.

We had a routine where I used to walk her to the park every day in the evening. I was in my room and that day I had no clue what to do. Right then I heard the door close and I realized she left without checking on me, which got me really mad.

After dinner, I walked up to her and said, “I won the challenge, aaji”

“Yes honey. I didn’t expect you to win, but I am glad you did” She said.

“I always win” I replied with a smile.

“Yes. That is why I call you my princess” saying that she hugged me.

She passed away a year after that incident. Today, I am twenty three. Every morning I get up early and go to work. By the time I come back I am too exhausted. I eat food and crash on the bed. The next day when I get up, I find my coat crumpled on the chair. Shoes and stockings lie exactly where I had removed them. The house seems like a mess. Life seems out of whack.

Little did I know that that day she made the key in the shoe rack accessible to me. After I fell asleep, she came and pulled a quilt over me. Picked up my school bag and put it on the desk. Then folded my uniform for me to wear the next day. Put my socks in the wash basket. Kept my shoes back in the shoe rack. Lastly, she put the television switch off.

Tears roll down as I look up at the sky realizing, the game, which I had claimed to proudly win, now I lose at it every day.

We are so oblivious to the love that our family showers on us. It is only when we part ways we realize what we had all along. Wouldn’t things be much simpler if death didn’t exist? But God must have thought something before creating it. Maybe this life on earth is only a temporary place our soul visits. Maybe someday, we all will unite again. And probably on the other side of this universe we may serve a bigger purpose.

– Sanketa Raut

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