Broken Pieces
10th Oct 2020
It amuses me when people become ‘best-of-friends’ in one encounter. I take years for that. Honestly, society bugs me. Not that I have anything against it. It is due to my own insecurities, of course. But it always has something to pick on. People judge. It is funny how everyone adopt a mechanism to cope up with things. The saddest of all is wearing a mask.
Although, I have a strange attraction for people with layers to uncover. The inscrutable souls. You can never really understand what lies inside. They could be as empty as vacuum or carrying a ton of bricks.
That was the impression I had of him in my mind.
To be honest, I don’t remember how we met. We were acquaintance. You know the kind of people we acknowledge only when they cross our path.
But I remember the day that changed.
I have a habit of being by myself and my music every time I want to cut off from this world. Nothing heals your soul better than music. However nothing worked that day. I was sitting by the seashore. Sobbing. It was evening time and the beach was a little crowded. Couples strolling. Children playing. When everyone around you can be so happy, you start questioning your normalcy.
There, I saw him walking with a group of friends. Quickly wiping my tears, I pretended to play in the sand. I was sure he saw me crying. Still hoping he would ignore and go away. I was looking down, avoiding any eye contact when I realised that he came and sat next to me. I looked at him, surprised.
“Don’t worry. You don’t have to talk to me. Just know if you need someone to hear you, I am here.” He said.
That was the first time I was noticing his hazel eyes. Something intrigued me. It wasn’t the superficial colour of his eyes, it was the sense of maturity and vulnerability that lied under. No mask can cover your eyes. And his carried something deeper than the depth of the sea.
I didn’t know what to reply. I turned my gaze towards the setting sun and so did my thoughts. When I was a kid I used to wonder why the sun sets in water and casts darkness every night. I wanted to reach the horizon one day and stop that. I lived in a bubble. As a child, I remember my fascination for magic shows and my enthrallment to watch the illusions and deceptions. I genuinely believed in magic. Sadly, growing up, I never realised when that bubble burst.
He did not say anything, nor did he try to initiate a conversation. He sat there. Probably lost in his own thoughts. Like a soul understanding another.
As we got up and started walking he held my hand. He didn’t turn to look at me. His eyes were fixed on something distant; something that only he could see. The grip was so firm, it literally hurt. It wasn’t in a wrong intention, nor in any friendly way. It was simply an assurance that he understands. Something inside me changed that moment.
My feet felt light, like a heavy weight that I was dragging along was taken off. A smile crossed my lips for no reason at all. I realized darkness is equally important for the other side to get the sunlight.
As we came out, I got this inexplicable feeling of departure. The feeling you get at airports when a dear one is going away. I did not want him to go. Surprisingly, at the same time I did not want to ask him to wait either.
How overrated are words really for understanding someone’s feelings? Because I could sense he was feeling exactly the same.
“Thank you. It meant a lot” I said, breaking the long silence.
There was a glass bottle lying down. He picked it up. Smashing it hard on the road, he bent down to pick up the pieces.
“Don’t. You will get hurt” I exclaimed.
“Exactly. Sometimes, the best you can do with broken pieces is throw them away”
I stood there. That simple is life. Deep inside, I started believing in magic again.
-Sanketa Raut
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