Dichotomy of Control
31st Jan 2021
Why do we stress about things that are not in our control?
More often than not, our distress arises from facets of situations that are beyond our control. Apart from its evident detrimental effects, we also waste a lot of our time simply worrying about things. This worry doesn’t lead to any positive change in our life. After giving an examination, we focus on worrying about the results. We do something we like, and then deviate towards contemplating what others would think about it. We give a presentation, and get anxious about the audience’s response. We have a conversation that we aren’t happy with, and then spend hours correcting it in our head.
Majority of it happens intuitively, instinctively, and merely habitually. But for a second consider what if we can break this cycle?
There is a concept in the Stoicism school of philosophy called the Dichotomy of Control. Oxford dictionary defines dichotomy as ‘a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different’. Vis-à-vis, dichotomy of control, taken literally means to create a division between things that are, and are not in our control. Let’s look at how it works,
Thing I have control over: How I respond to an event
Thing I do not have control over: How another person respond to an event
To put in other words, there are things and situations within our power. These include affairs related to our own self, like our actions and reactions, desires, opinions, aims, thoughts. Concomitantly, there are certain things like situations in life, reputations, other’s reactions, what other people think of us. Are all beyond our power. We feel powerless and distressed because we tend to give a lot of attention to things beyond our power.
Stoic philosophy believes in only focusing on things and events that are within our control. To focus and work on self. That is where the peace of mind lies.
The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control
Epictetus
At the same time, it is impossible to be indifferent to situations not in our control. Some things are meant for us, some things are not meant for us, and we barely have a choice over that. The best way to deal with it is to accept and let it slip by like the passing wind.
– Sanketa Raut
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